so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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