i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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