I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
