He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
