the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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