So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Randomize