whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
