Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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