I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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