Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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