another moral hangover. fuck.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
