Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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