wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
