yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
