So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
