Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
