so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
