He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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