i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
