Screwed.edu
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
