so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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