After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
