Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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