I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
