you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
