i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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