Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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