the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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