If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
