It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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