And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
