actually, I'm a sock model
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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