Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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