Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
