I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
