Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
