if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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