Your dad touched me again.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
