Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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