This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
