I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
