i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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