Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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