My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
