I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
