do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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