Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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