how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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