Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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