therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
