I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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