do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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