walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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