And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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