Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just high enough for therapy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
