Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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