Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
