Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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