Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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