I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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