Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
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It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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