Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
