Swine flu. Run for my life!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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