So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
