I can text with my tongue
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
