"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize